April 2011
March 2011
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And Mice of Men
Build a little burrow in the holes a heart once held—
I loved you; I wanted nothing else.
Gone are days of naivety we softly wrapped in memories
I wish had never happened,
But we try again.
/Nevertheless./
Quavering lips and an intrepid kiss
Ending a night of ironic happenstance with
Things I had thought I wouldn’t miss.
(Yet, I did miss this kiss and those lips.)
You must leave me...
Dating, It's Complicated
My girlfriend of one year asked me last night if I would still love her if she had a penis.
-Brock
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BOYS.
Ugh.
So True...
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Dating, It's Complicated
I was talking to my girlfriend about getting a physical. She asked me if it was weird for someone else touching my downstairs. I said “Only two people can touch my penis, you and my mother.” I meant to say doctor. It was some kind of weird freudian slip. We no longer talk. I dont really talk to my mom either.
-Anonymous
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Dating, It's Complicated
I am eight months pregnant, and my fiancé refuses to have sex with me. Not because I am no longer attractive, but because “The baby will know what’s going on.”
-Anonymous
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Dating is Complicated X
I explained to my girlfriend how a vagina looks like an Arby’s roast beef sandwich, after she was done laughing I stared very seriously into her eyes and said “I’m thinkin Arby’s.” So this has become a great way of expressing how horny I am in public…..her friends just think I eat a lot of fast food.
-Justin
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You're So Punny! VI
I hate racial slurs. If you’re gonna say it, at least commit to the correct enunciation.-Jake Hurwitz
You're So Punny! V
“I come bearing .gifs.” -The Internet
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You're So Punny! IV
I Read A Book About Mongolian Literature
It was ok, I guess. It had its prose and Khans.-Luke Bean
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You're So Punny! III
My girlfriend and I do it missionary all the time. I tell her how my beliefs are right, and she slams the door in my face.-Mitchell Claxton
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You're So Punny! II
Curiosity killed my cat, and my best friend. I really should’ve named my alligator something else.-Brian Mates
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You're So Punny!
I was talking to my girlfriend about Yoga. She said it could cure all illness and disease. I think it’s a stretch.-Mike Fagan
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