I was talking to my girlfriend about getting a physical. She asked me if it was weird for someone else touching my downstairs. I said “Only two people can touch my penis, you and my mother.” I meant to say doctor. It was some kind of weird freudian slip. We no longer talk. I dont really talk to my mom either.
I explained to my girlfriend how a vagina looks like an Arby’s roast beef sandwich, after she was done laughing I stared very seriously into her eyes and said “I’m thinkin Arby’s.” So this has become a great way of expressing how horny I am in public…..her friends just think I eat a lot of fast food.