Why was I looking up Canadian sex acts?
O_____O I don’t remember doing this, but it’s in my search history.
Saw you today, and you told James you were trying to fuck another girl. I just didn’t give a shit. What, no jealousy or petty emotions, Diana? You’re off your game.
Mike: Thanks, Di. :] hope u find some nerd who digs ur vader-pants
Me: Like you? Ew no thanks.
Mike: Haha but if hes like me, logic dictates that you'll climb him like a tree
Me: Ha. You give yourself too much credit.
Mike: Not me, logic.
Drunk Call From Nate at 3 AM
Nate: Diana? Diana?
Me: Yes? (I'm wondering how you got my number.)
Nate: Where are you?
Me: I'm in Troy.
Nate: Wha...what? That sucks.
Nate: I stole a bus sign.
Me: I'm glad.
Nate: No! You have to come here and see it.
Nate: I'm crouched under my desk right now. The sign is sitting on my chair.
Nate: Okay, well I'll see you later.
Me: Okay, goodnight.
I just heard it would cost 5 billion to end all...
I just heard that that’s how much Americans spend on ice cream every year. I, too, will never eat ice cream again if it means someone out there gets a meal.
“Today, I placed an order for a ‘single taco’ at Taco Bell. The man behind the counter regrettably informed me that all of the tacos were dating or married. MLIA”
these chicks be leapin’ on me, what with my semi-obsession over taylor...– Mihir
Every time I wear my cherry underwear my boyfriend runs after me shouting “WOCKA...– T M Dating, It’s Complicated