On paper usage: “I’m soon going to count my productivity on the amount of trees I kill each day.”
On the clothing model: “It looks anemic. Not in a mean way, but in a I-hope-it-doesn’t-keel-over-and-ruin-one-of-the-sample-dresses way.”
"It’s so sad, I would feed it a cheeseburger if it weren’t already consuming self-doubt."
At lunch: “I enjoy waving at people while they pass and watching them fumble nervously around with their phones, so they don’t have to acknowledge me, and avoiding human interaction as much as possible.”
About baked goods at Crumbs: “What is the point of buying these cupcakes if not to take pictures and post them on Facebook, taunting the people you really don’t care for?”
On an ugly jewelry box I was supposed to Photoshop: “That project was the bane of my existence.”
On the empty stapler: “Things like this are the reason I believe there to be no God.”